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I'm still working on my review of Labyrinth, but I have an announcement. Next week, I'm going to the cinema to watch Big Hero 6! I LOVED Frozen when I saw it, so I have a good feeling about Big Hero 6. :excited: 

100%
9 deviants said WITHOUT SPOILERS, does anyone have anything to say about Big Hero 6? I'll probably do a review of it in the future, like I did when I saw Frozen. :)

Bit of a change of plans for my next review. I was originally going to review Thumbelina next, but for a change, I decided to review Jim Henson's Labyrinth. :) Any thoughts to donate? :) 

100%
11 deviants said Please comment with any thoughts. :D

I'm just trying to draw something different, so I decided to draw the title card for one of my Duckyworth's Thoughts reviews. Which review would you like to see the illustration for? :) 

34%
16 deviants said Eight Crazy Nights
21%
10 deviants said Frozen
11%
5 deviants said Brother Bear
9%
4 deviants said The Nuttiest Nutcracker
6%
3 deviants said Equestria Girls
6%
3 deviants said Little Brother Big Trouble
4%
2 deviants said Oz The Great and Powerful
4%
2 deviants said Alpha and Omega
2%
1 deviant said Hunchback of Notre Dame 2
2%
1 deviant said Thankskilling 3

Duckyworth's Thoughts

My personal thoughts on films that I have seen!

Bram Stoker's Dracula - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour… (BAD FILM)
Those Magnificent Men In Their Flying Machines or How I Flew From London to Paris in 25 Hours and 11 Minutes - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Saludos Amigos and The Three Caballeros - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Watership Down - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Coraline - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Home on the Range -duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
The Adventures of Tintin: The Secret of The Unicorn - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Rio - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
The Elephant Man - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Dude, Where's My Car? - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
The Last Unicorn - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Return to Oz - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Rock and Rule - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
The Neverending Story - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Dead Space Downfall - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Nosferatu (1922) - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
The Exorcist - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
The Blair Witch Project - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Evil Dead - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Evil Dead 2 - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Army of Darkness - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
An American Werewolf In London - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Ginger Snaps - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Dog Soldiers - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
The Haunting (1963) - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
THEM! - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Frankenweenie (2012) - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Theatre of Blood - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
A Clockwork Orange - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Vuk The Little Fox - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Kis Vuk-A Fox's Tale - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour… (BAD FILM)
The Room - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Felidae - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
9 - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Plague Dogs - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Skyfall - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
The Flight Before Christmas -duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour… (BAD FILM)
The Nightmare Before Christmas - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
It's A Wonderful Life - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Lord of the Rings - The Fellowship of the Ring - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Lord of the Rings - The Two Towers - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Lord of the Rings - Return of the King - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
The Hobbit - An Unexpected Journey - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
The Secret of NIMH - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Pippi Longstocking (1997) - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour… (BAD FILM)
The Black Cauldron - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Top Cat (2011) - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
The Land Before Time - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
The Wild - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour… (BAD FILM)
Mario Puzo's The Godfather - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Pee Wee's Big Adventure - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Robocop - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
The Spongebob Squarepants Movie - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Wreck-It Ralph - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Princess Mononoke - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Quest For Camelot - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour… (BAD FILM)
Ed Wood - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
FernGully - The Last Rainforest - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Where The Wild Things Are - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Pan's Labyrinth - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Twilight - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour… (BAD FILM)
Help! I'm A Fish - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Corpse Bride - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Tron - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Cool World - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour… (BAD FILM)
Cats Don't Dance - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
The Secret of Kells - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Titan A.E. - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
The Cat In The Hat - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour… (BAD FILM)
The Reef - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour… (BAD FILM)
Balto - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Pokemon The First Movie: Mewtwo Strikes Back - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Pokémon 2000: The Power of One - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Pokémon 3: Entei - Spell of the Unown - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Pokémon 4Ever: Celebi - Voice of the Forest - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Pokémon Heroes - Latios and Latias - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Pokémon - Jirachi Wishmaker - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Pokémon - Destiny Deoxys - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour… (BAD FILM)
Pokémon Lucario and The Mystery of Mew - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Pokémon Ranger and the Temple of the Sea - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Pokémon - The Rise of Darkrai - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour… (BAD FILM)
Pokémon - Giratina and the Sky Warrior - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Pokémon - Arceus and the Jewel of Life - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Pokémon - Zoroark Master of Illusions - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Pokémon Black - Victini and Reshiram - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Pokémon - Kyurem Vs. The Sword of Justice - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Pokémon - Mewtwo Returns - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Brave - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Valiant - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour… (BAD FILM)
Rise of the Guardians - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Legend of the Guardians: Owls of Ga'Hoole (BAD FILM) REVISITED - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
An American Tail - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
The Dark Crystal - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Monsters University - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Monsters Inc - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Tron Legacy - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
All Dogs Go To Heaven - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Basil the Great Mouse Detective - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Häxan: Witchcraft Through The Ages - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Hotel Transylvania - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
ParaNorman - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Little Shop of Horrors (1986) - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Killer Klowns From Outer Space - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Stan Helsing - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour… (BAD FILM)
ThanksKilling - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Splice - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Nosferatu (1979) - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Something Wicked This Way Comes -duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
The Frighteners - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
ThanksKilling 3 - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Little Brother Big Trouble - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour… (BAD FILM)
The Forgotten Toys - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Gremlins - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Elf - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
The Elf That Rescued Christmas - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour… (BAD FILM)
Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer (1998) - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
The Polar Express - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
A Christmas Carol (Mickey, Muppets and Jim Carrey versions) - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Oz The Great and Powerful - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Frozen - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
The Black Hole - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Brother Bear - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour… (BAD FILM)
Oliver and Company - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Atlantis The Lost Empire - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Treasure Planet - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
The Lego Movie - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
My Little Pony: Equestria Girls - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Ruby Gloom Cartoon - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Bio-Dome - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour… (BAD FILM)
The Artist - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Alpha and Omega - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour… (BAD FILM)
Return of Jafar - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Aladdin and the King of Thieves - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Belle's Magical World - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour… (BAD FILM)
Pocahontas 2: Journey To a New World - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Lion King 2: Simba's Pride - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Lion King 1 1/2 Hakuna Mattata - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour… (BAD FILM)
Emperor's New Groove 2: Kronk's New Groove - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
The Little Mermaid 2: Return to the Sea - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour… (BAD FILM)
The Tigger Movie - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
The Hunchback of Notre Dame 2 - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour… (BAD FILM)
Bambi 2 - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Lilo and Stitch 2: Stitch has a Glitch - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
The Boxtrolls - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Professor Layton and the Eternal Diva - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Rio 2 - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Hocus Pocus - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Hellraiser - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
The Borderlands - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
The Howling - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Monster House - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Gremlins 2: The New Batch - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Sleepy Hollow - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Eight Crazy Nights - Part 1 - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Part 2 - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
(THE WORST FILM I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE)
Arashi No Yoru Ni - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour… (BAD FILM)
Anastasia (Part 1) - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
(Part 2) - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
The Nuttiest Nutcracker (Part 1) - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
The Nuttiest Nutcracker (Part 2) - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour…
The Nuttiest Nutcracker (Part 3) - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour… (BAD FILM)
Atlantis 2: Milo’s Return - duckyworth.deviantart.com/jour… (BAD FILM)

More on the way! :D

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DT: A Troll In Central Park ~ 1994

Journal Entry: Sun Jan 18, 2015, 12:17 PM
  • Mood: Sickened
  • Listening to: Voltaire - Raised By Bats
  • Watching: Labyrinth
  • Playing: Professor Layton and the Azran Legacy
  • Eating: Seaweed Flavour Crackers
  • Drinking: Cider


*I’m typing at my computer* Hmm… I feel like watching a film… What should I watch? Hmm… I know! I feel like watching something troll related… *goes to the DVD rack in my room* Ah! TROLL HUNTER! :D *grabs my DVD box of Troll Hunter - images.moviepostershop.com/the… * An awesome found footage horror film about Norwegian troll hunters… I’m really looking forward to this  - *opens up the DVD box, and comes across…. THIS - www.movieposter.com/posters/ar…:jawdrop: ….. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!</u> …….WHAT the holy hell is this rubbish?! Who…. Who… *sees a piece of writing on the DVD, which says ‘You think you know Don Bluth, fool? Well… you have yet to review his films which are poorly received by critics and audiences…. So, if you have any kind of inner strength, see if you can bring yourself to give a NEGATIVE review of not only something directed by one of your favourite directors, but something that you actually ENJOYED when you were a child…. Hahaa… did I just send you that message, and now everyone online can see it? Haha… Hatefully yours, CHEAPASS CEEGEE.'…Grrrgh…. CURSE YOU CHEAPASS CEEGEE!! :shakefist:

 

… so, yeah, this film exists… And the worst part is that, yes, I did actually LIKE this film back when I was a child… I mean, I know that when you’re younger, you usually don’t judge films and cartoons by their quality, just if you’re entertained by it or not. In a way, reviewing films like this fourteen years later is a good way to compare how your thoughts on films can change when you grow older…. And I can easily say that my opinion on A Troll In Central Park has a taken a NOSEDIVE IN FLAMES since I last saw it… Because this is a BAAAD one right here. Not just because of the fact that this film is one of the most insulting, sickly sweet, annoying and pandering films I’ve ever seen in my life, but because it is directed by DON BLUTH. Yes, the same director that made The Secret of NIMH, Land Before Time, An American Tail, All Dogs Go To Heaven, Anastasia, Bartok the Magnificent and Titan AE… I mean, I know that it’s perfectly possible for a great director to make a bad film, but… I never thought Don Bluth could make a film THIS bad… I mean, how do you go from making THE SECRET OF NIMH to THIS? Don Bluth was a great animation director in the 1980s, and even in the late 90s, he turned out one or two hits, but in the early and mid 90’s, it REAAALLY felt like he was running low on steam. Rock A Doodle, Thumbelina, A Troll in Central Park and Pebble and the Penguin are infamous for being Don Bluth’s WEAKEST projects. I’ve already reviewed all of Don Bluth’s films that I personally enjoyed, so now I’ll start reviewing his less successful films, starting with perhaps the worst of them – A Troll in Central Park. Yeah, this is without a doubt, the worst thing Don Bluth has ever been involved in, by the way… For some films, maybe it’s due to the director lacking motivation in a project, behind the scenes problems, production problems… or maybe there literally WAS a TROLL :icontrollfaceplz: at Don Bluth studios… Let me put things into perspective here… The Nuttiest Nutcracker, one of the cheapest, most HORRENDOUS animated films I’ve ever seen cost more to make than what A Troll in Central Park… EARNED. :ohnoes: This film did extremely poorly at the box-office, grossing $71,368 domestically, and with its budget of $23,000,000, it failed to make even 0.33% of its budget…. :jawdrop: That easily makes it one of the WORST flops in the history of cinema! Gary Goldman has said the reason for this was that the film was released without any sign of promotion and its release was limited. He also stated that its distributor Warner Bros. did not have any confidence in the film. Okay, now, before I go any further, I obviously KNOW that a film’s box office results is NOT a definer of its quality, but.. that fact that Warner Bros did not have any confidence in the film is something to remember when watching this, because to be honest, I don’t think ANYONE would have confidence in this… And before you all start saying ‘it’s a children’s movie’… DON’T SAY THAT. :rage: Anyone with that horrid mindset are people who are probably RESPONSIBLE for films like this clogging the film industry up with rubbish… Pingu :iconpinguplz: , a stop motion cartoon which was originally designed for PRESCHOOLERS, actually has something A Troll in Central Park lacks – Pingu actually treats its audience maturely. The stories in Pingu were made for very young children, and I watched it a lot when I was young, but because of how clever Pingu’s writing is and how endearing and relatable the characters are, it actually retains it’s charm for an older generation. I say that because… I still watch Pingu sometimes as a 20 year old…. :blush: What I’m trying to say is that ‘made for children’ is not an excuse for churning out tripe like A Troll in Central Park…. Well, I’ve been letting this horrible, pandering, sickly sweet, manure coated crop of a film fester for long enough, so, although it pains me to do this Don Bluth, you’re new target practice for my reviews… Sorry, Don, I love you, but this festering flower bud NEEDS to be ripped a new one…. :iconhero-plz:

The film starts off with something that… upon first glance, may fool an audience member into thinking that it may be a good film – I will admit that the instrumental music is nice and pleasant, reminding me of the beginnings of many classic 50’s Disney films. Also, the setting at the beginning of the film actually reminds me a bit of a setting I would see in a film like The Black Cauldron. This awesome looking place is the Kingdom of Trolls, which has a rule prohibiting flowers. Why, you may ask? Well, because flowers just happen to be what’s the main interest of the main character of the film… Stanley, played by Dom DeLuise…. And… yes, as much as it pains me to say, he IS a troll. He’s nowhere near as awesome looking as the other trolls, more like what you would get if Dopey from Snow White packed on the pounds and then took a visit to Pleasure Island, but stopped turning into a donkey at the tail stage…. Even though Dom DeLuise, bless him, may be trying here, this character just…. ISN’T one that I find myself rooting for…. :no: Why, you may ask? Well, you’ll found out why soon….. He’s apparently hiding something from the other trolls, and when he thinks he’s in the clear, he bumps into another troll… When Stanley’s quite literally green thumb touches the floor, it creates a…. rather disturbing looking flower with an overly happy expression. And yes, the flowers in this film have some rather eerie looking facial expressions…. Apparently, the troll is SO stupid, he can’t even see that a flower has been created RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM, and walks away.

Troll: *singing* ‘I’m a bad troll… a very bad troll….’

:iconwthplz: I know it’s a bit early to delve into one of my main gripes with this film, but… there’s something I have to bring up that a lot of people strangely seem to forget about when reviewing this – the dialogue is written rather poorly. As well as more than 50% of the dialogue in this song being extremely pointless, it almost seems like the writers are insulting the intelligence of the children watching this by dumbing down their dialogue into phrases that don’t make any sense at all… This chant from this troll is just a pointless tune that he’s singing, but it just sounds rather stupid. But wait, it gets worse in time…… Anyway, Stanley rushes home, avoiding the other trolls, and opens his front door to reveal… Yuk… more creepy flowers… I just want to give another comment, giving flowers faces is something I’ve seen done right before, like in the Pokemon games and in Alice in Wonderland, but for some reason, these flowers look a bit… creepy at times… ^^; Anyway, a smell that looks like the perfume that Miss Kitty wears in Fievel Goes West emanates from Stanley’s open front door – you know, if opening his front door is what causes the smell to come out, why doesn’t it come out his CHIMNEY, or out of the shutters? Old fashioned shutter windows aren’t smell proof. This smell attracts the attention of Queen Gnorga (voiced by Cloris Leachman) and King Llort (voiced by Charles Nelson Reilly – wait.. Killer from All Dogs Go To Heaven and the Dirty Bubble was in this?), the rulers of the trolls, who apparently hate the smell. Also, if they apparently hate flowers and have BANNED them, I have to ask an obvious question – why do they hate flowers in the first place? Again, I think the main reason is because they attract Stanley – and I can tell you right now, I would want Stanley to remain as FAR AWAY from me as possible… :no: So, what does Stanley, this… rotund dwarf (yeah, I don’t think he’s a troll – he doesn’t look anywhere NEAR as cool enough to be the same species as the other trolls) spend his time doing? Using his magical green thumb that he has to grow flowers in his house. So, he’s kind of like the Pokemon Meganium (the Pokemon whose breath can bring dead plantlife back to life), except… nowhere near as endearing… Yeah … that’s pretty much it, as far as Stanley’s personality goes, he just… grows flowers. Is he doing this for botanical research? Is he doing this as a member of another race of creature which is a shepherd by nature, but he is the last of his kind and is growing flowers to remember his race? Were his family members also flower lovers and he’s doing this in their honour? …Never explained. :hmm: I mean, Elsa may have been born with cryokinesis and some people complain about that not being explained, but at least it’s essential to the plot and brings forth some interesting visuals and action…. Three things that Stanley’s power NEVER manages to deliver. Okay, to be fair, the animation of Stanley growing plantlife can be rather impressive, but the growth of the plantlife doesn’t really give much action or story wise…. Yeah, when it comes to PLOT in A Troll in Central Park… good luck trying to find ANY plot… Stanley’s just a pansy-growing pansy who also wriggles his ears in disturbing ways on a regular basis... Yeah… why does he wriggle his ears like that? He’s not trying to take off like Dumbo, and it just looks creepy… He grows a giant rose in the middle of his garden patch, and it grows out of his window. You know, if he was so worried about the other trolls suspecting him, he probably would have thought a bit about placing a garden patch RIGHT UNDERNEATH his window. Also, in this part, Stanley is shown to have trouble controlling the growth of the rose… Even though, in every other scene in this film, he has PERFECT CONTROL over creating things that he grows. :no: Actually… regarding my complaints about Stanley’s blandness, Don Bluth HIMSELF admitted this. Don Bluth had hopes that Stanley could be written as a much more interesting and flawed character with a much more engaging history between Gnorga's empire and himself. Unlike his partner Gary Goldman, however, Bluth blamed himself for hastening the production to create what felt more like a child ripped out of the womb than a finished, well-produced film. When the actual FILMMAKER hates their creation, it definitely raises a red flag…

The other trolls notice the rose growing out of the window (who wouldn’t), and run to arrest Stanley for breaking the trolls’ law of no flowers…. And Stanley, for some reason, is stupid enough to step out the house and leave his door unlocked as this happens… Yeah, if he wanted to keep the other trolls out, at least LOCK THE DOOR or barricade it! Oh wait, that would demand braincells… something this character clearly lacks. The trolls arrest Stanley, and proceed to take him before Queen Gnorga…. The Queen of the trolls, who looks a bit like if Aughra from The Dark Crystal and Eleaor Duvall from Eight Crazy Nights had their DNA fused together. Gnorga is a watered down Maleficent, mixed with traits of Madame Medusa and Ursula. After gassing the cousin of Venus from Ruby Gloom, she starts singing in a manner that looks like they were trying to ripoff Poor Unfortunate Souls from The Little Mermaid….Actually, I hate to admit this, but this song actually… isn’t that bad. It’s by far the best song in the whole film…. Which isn’t saying much, considering the songs that come later… ^^; I will admit that the instrumentals in this song are nice, but the lyrics get a bit…. Bland in places… It’s nowhere NEAR as bad as Forte’s song in The Enchanted Christmas, don’t get me wrong, but the lyrics need work… It’s not as bad as ‘love takes the wildest heart and makes it tame… if you’re turned on, then just turn off!’, but there are some rather strange ideas for lyrics… Like the trolls carrying Gnorga’s throne simply saying ‘touch our queen and turn into stone’ over and over, and Gnorga singing ‘Get in my way and I’ll get you forever’… Get you forever? What does that even MEAN? :no:  This song is basically saying that Gnorga is evil, and that she can petrify whoever she dislikes on a regular basis – including a cousin of Bartok… ^^; I mean, considering that Gnorga actually wants Stanley DEAD, I will admit, she’s the only character I find myself sympathising with… Speaking of which, Gnorga and her husband arrive in the troll court to sentence Stanley to his punishment – being turned to stone. Finally, a character I can ROOT for in this film. :XD: She turns the shell of the… tortoise she rides on into stone, and it…. Flies into the curtain with a shirt and boxers on… I.. I don’t know… ^^; And here’s another complaint with the dialogue being dumbed down, Gnorga calls petrifying Stanley… ‘stoning him’. :facepalm: Really… you think your audience is stupid enough to not know what PETRIFY means?  You need to say ‘stone him’? :x

Llort suggests not stoning Stanley, and rather banishing him to a place of rock and steel, where nothing grows. He says that this could be a fate even WORSE than death, banishment to a realm without flowers. Llort's hand waves regarding why he would rather not just let Gnorga petrify Stanley could have made for a fascinating subplot, which would give Stanley additional motivation for his goals as well as adding complexity the villains. This whole film is full of originality that's sadly left unexploited. :no: So, Gnorga… without even asking Llort WHERE the realm without flowers is, uses her…. petrifying thumb to send Stanley there… :confused: The prison turns into a satellite, and Stanley is rocketed to Central Park…. This is a comment that a lot of people have made – how is CENTRAL PARK a place of rock and steel where nothing grows?! LOOK AT IT! There’s plants everywhere! :x Anyway, Stanley lands in… sigh, Central Park and… needless to say, he’s in… rather annoying joy after looking at the greenery. It turns out that Charlie Barkin from All Dogs Go To Heaven (the dog looks quite a bit like Charlie Barkin, doesn’t he?)is just as fed up with Stanley as I am, and chases him…. And now we come to yet another problem with the film…. Over 50% of the film is pointless filler… :yawn: And for our first example of a scene which felt like it was just padding out the film, this chase scene goes on for AGES. Stanley gets chased by Charlie Barkin’s cousin, then gets chased by some other dogs, then climbs up a tree, accidentally knocks over a squirrel’s acorns, gets chased by a squirrel (wow, that must have been embarrassing…), falls into a salad bowl at a restaurant, gets his butt speared by a rather large customer’s fork (as no-one notices him for some reason – or do they think he’s their mystery meat for the evening?), speeds out the restaurant, walks into a busy road – and sadly does NOT get run over in the process, runs into a boy on a skateboard, rids on the skateboard for a good while, ends up moving along a river, and then falls underneath a bridge…. And the chase scene FINALLY ends… :faint: Two minutes and three quarters of the film wasted for that unfunny chase scene…. Look, film, films like ParaNorman also had scenes where characters from another time and place had to adjust to new surroundings (the zombies getting future shock), but those scenes were kept SHORT and weren’t as painfully long as this chase scene… :x And now Stanley starts weeping, and makes a bed of grass to sleep on under the bridge. The music is telling me I’m meant to be sad for Stanley, but I can’t really feel much sympathy for one of the most annoying characters in cinema… Believe it or not, he gets WORSE. But this film has MORE annoying characters to introduce us to… :hmm: The film cuts to The Pink Palace from Coraline, which has moved into New York somehow. The busy parents of two children, Gus and Rosie, voiced by Phillip Glasser and Tawny Sunshine Glover respectively, are leaving for work, leaving the two children alone with the housekeeper. Now, you may recognise Phillp Glasser as being the boy who voiced Fievel in An American Tail, so… does his character have any charm to him? …. :sarcastic: Don’t make me laugh. These two children are, like Stanley, incredibly unlikeable. I’ll get to Rosie later, but as for Gus, he’s a spoilt brat on the levels of Conrad from The Cat in the Hat… He’s excited about going to the park with his father, but when he sees Rosie playing with his remote control for his boat, Gus rudely snatches it from her and says ‘Hey! Rosie! Don’t touch that! Only dad and me get to go’.:rage: And as for Rosie…. Well, let’s just say that is a prime example of why it’s normally a very BAD idea to put toddlers as main characters in your animated films. In the film, all her dialogue is composed of baby talk, babbling, bawling, screeching and moaning, and I’m serious when I say it get very annoying very quickly…. I’ve made it clear that I’m not too fond of young children in real life, but in media, child characters are much more likeable to me. The best example to bring up here are Ducky from The Land Before Time and Ann-Marie from All Dogs Go To Heaven – both voiced by a little girl, but the girl actually sounded sweet, and her script was MUCH better written… This is not the case in this film. It feels like the writers were trying to make the children as realistic as possible in all the WRONG ways. :rage: In this scene, Gus keeps asking his parents if they can take him to the park, and when his parents give very good reasons for it – they’re busy working – what is Gus’s reaction?

Gus: ‘Later, later… it always has to be later! *has a hissy fit and throws his boat on the floor* Why can’t we ever do what I wanna do? *pulls his dad’s coat* I wanna do what I wanna do!’

Wow, I hate you already. :rage: I mean, if it was established that Gus’ bad behaviour was due to something like bullying at school or abusive parents, then it COULD have excused his behaviour. But from what I can tell, the parents aren’t bad parental figure at ALL. They’re not mean, spiteful, abusive or cruel towards their children at all – they’re just overworked, is all. The mother even SAYS to Gus ‘your father works as hard as he can to make our life nice, children… You have to learn to appreciate that’. So… yeah, I’m putting all my blame on GUS here. :x And before you say ‘children can be cruel’ – NOT. AN. EXCUSE. Like Diamond Tiara, who also acts horrible despite having Filthy Rich, a likeable parent who is a kind, prolific and honest businessman (businessPONY?), it seems like Gus is acting mean-spirited… Just for the sake of being mean-spirited. And just when I think he can’t get worse… the NEXT scene comes up. Gus puts a sign on his door which says ‘Privit. Keps Out’ :facepalm:, to keep Maria, the housekeeper, out, and after he kicks a football at his door (I’d personally ground him for that), he takes Rosie with him and they, get this, SNEAK OUT THE HOUSE TO GO TO THE PARK BY THEMSELVES…. :jawdrop: *I stare at the screen in shock as TWO UNSUPERVISED MINORS are walking through NEW YORK CITY by themselves, and then I slap * WHAT. I need to make some serious complaints about this scene. I take some serious issues with this plot point, so I’ll need to make bullet points about all the problems… First of all – Gus is convincing his young, defenceless, TWO YEAR OLD sister to sneak out of their house, AGAINST THEIR PARENTS’ ORDERS, and go through NEW YORK CITY on their own…. Okay, look, I know children do some pretty daft things, but… this is why I think that these two, Gus especially, are two of the WORST role models for children ever written. Okay, Rosie looks like she may be only two, so she’s got an excuse – and she isn’t doing something as malicious as Caillou PINCHING his baby sister (by the way, Caillou did that INTENTIONALLY and KNEW what he was doing). Gus on the other hand, looks like he’s about 8 years old… HE SHOULD KNOW BETTER. Second – their parents didn’t lock the door?! Either that, or they had a spare key WITHIN REACH of the two children, which is pretty stupid. Third – I’m surprised that ALL of the pedestrians just look at these two UNACCOMPANIED CHILDREN on their own, and are just like ‘Meh. Whatever. Not my children.’ I would have thought SOMEONE would have noticed and asked them if they were lost and could have called child services. Fourth – if the housekeeper was listening to music while using the vacuum, the parents could have at least hired a BABYSITTER for them… Hmm, maybe they aren’t as good parental figures as I thought. I mean, sure, the housekeeper COULD qualify as someone who could look after children. But if you want to prevent the children from getting in trouble while the housekeeper is working – HIRE A BABYSITTER. Fifth, and most importantly – two young children are walking through a CITY on their own. You never know what kind of horrid people could be lurking about in a big city…. Paedophiles, child molesters, criminals – I know I’m writing something disturbing here, but it’s true – haven’t these children been taught about the dangers of being alone walking about a BIG CITY at that age? :hmm: 

Anyway, after that uncomfortable implication plays in my mind, Rosie takes some balloons and ends up floating away…. And, ALREADY, Gus and Rosie get in trouble when Gus tries to pull Rosie down. Meanwhile, back to… urgh, the stupid troll who looks like Gizmo got thrown together in a blender with a potato…. He has the squirrel’s nut fall down to him, and he creates a beanstalk to bring the nut back to him. ….Erm… relevance, please? :confused: Just by the same bridge, Gus puts his boat in the water, and Rosie says ‘boat’. … Yes, that’s pretty much all of her dialogue… Just simple words. And then, she walks after a butterfly, while Gus is playing with his boat rather than doing what he SHOULD be doing – keeping a watchful eye on his younger sister… :no: Rosie follows the butterfly, and - *hears her obnoxious screeching and squeaking* OW. That was… rather obnoxious. Look, I know she’s only TWO, but for heaven’s sake – do you remember Mary Gibbs, the girl who voiced Boo from Monsters Inc? She was actually endearing, and kind of adorable – and yes, at the danger of calling myself a hypocrite, her lines were simply saying ‘Kitty’ and baby talk, but at least her baby talk was ENDEARING baby talk! Rosie’s baby talk sounds more like squeaking that… grates on my ears a large amount…. Also, Mary Gibbs WAS able to show actual EMOTION in her delivery – something that Rosie doesn’t when needed… I’ll explain why later. By the way, the film has many scenes and passages that seem shallow and simply don't go nowhere, plot-wise, such as Gus and Rosie playing in the park with balloons, boats or butterflies. As the filler continues, Stanley gives the squirrel some nuts. As Rosie starts…. *hears the obnoxious squeaking continue as she laughs* OW… Anyway, Rosie mistakes Stanley for her doll, and… some rather pointless moments of Rosie pulling Stanley through the water, just before Stanley…. Flees in fear from Rosie. :facepalm: COWARD! Gus FINALLY looks up to see his sister gone, as Rosie follows Stanley. By the way – most of Gus’ script is composed of him calling ‘Rosie’…. :no: Rosie follows Stanley down the tunnel, and there is a rather awkward scene here of those two staring at each other. Rosie says ‘troll’ and Stanley flees AGAIN…. Wow, even HYENA from Ginga Nagareboshi Gin has more balls than you, Stanley! In fact, I can hear him yelling right now: :iconhyenawtfplz::iconsaysplz:GROW A PAIR, will you!? 
Rosie rather annoyingly keeps saying ‘troll’ to Stanley, as Stanley introduces himself, and then shows Rosie his plant growing abilities, as he brings up a sentient thistle from the ground, that…. Partakes in just over a MINUTE of padding. :yawn: Yeah, as I said before, for most of this film, LITERALLY NOTHING HAPPENS. Once again, the background music is nice, but this is just…. Boring and annoying…. Stanley and the thistle fight over Stanley’s hat, a random ladybird climbs up Rosie’s doll, she annoyingly yells ‘bug’, and the thistle then comes along to take the bug away from Rosie and kick it away…. And about 50 frames of animation are wasted on the ladybird walking away…. God… just comparing the kinds of USEFUL things Secret of NIMH did in its runtime compared to this is just… depressing… :cries: And after this, Rosie comes up to Stanley and… kisses him, prompting a… train whistle to sound…. Erm….

*Stanley creepily wriggles his ears AGAIN (STOP DOING THAT! It look freaky! ), stutters, goes ‘Whoo-heeheeheeheee’ and then rockets himself up into the air, running around and flying in hysterics* :iconshockedfaceplz: Apparantly, he gets excited when a toddler kisses him. Dear lord… I thought Stanley had problems before, but NOW I realise… This character is clearly unhealthy. :fear: And… poor Dom DeLuise… his cheery laughter and line delivery which brought delightful characters like Jeremy from Secret of NIMH, Tiger from An American Tail, Itchy from All Dogs Go To Heaven, Fagin from Oliver and Company and Koosey from Dexter’s Laboratory just feels wasted on Stanley here. I mean, Tiger got excited while talking about eating broccoli, but that was one of his favourite foods, so I can understand that. Jeremy was a clumsy crow who was trying to find love. Itchy loved helping out his friend Charlie. Fagin was just happy to have his dogs for company, and didn’t truly care that he was living in poverty. Koosey was Dee-Dee’s imaginary friend and brought Dee-Dee happiness. Those four characters had a good REASON to laugh ecstatically. But here – STANLEY IS GETTING EXCITED ABOUT A TODDLER KISSING HIM…. And the train whistle sounded, so….. I’m deeply disturbed right now…. It basically gives an implication that Stanley can't help but get a flower orgasm each time he gets kissed by a toddler! :no: And Rosie kissed Stanley to get him overexcited before even telling him her name…. I… that sounds a bit disturbing… :fear: Also, just imagine all the effort that was wasted in those ten seconds of nothing… And what’s Rosie’s reaction? ‘Troll.’ :rage: For the sake of Mrs Brisby, Littlefoot, Fievel, Charlie Barkin, and Bartok – SHUT UP, YOU LITTLE…. !! :shakefist: And now, there’s – surprise, surprise – MORE filler….

Stanley: ‘I like beautiful things, like flowers…’

Rosie: ‘Flower…’ (Ugh)

Stanley: ‘Yes, flowers…. Yeah – Oh, PLEASE, tell me your name!’

Rosie: ‘Rosie…’

Stanley: ‘Oooh…. Rosie? Oh, did you hear th- Aaahhh. Rosie… Oh, yes, I like that a lot…’

*snoring, but then I wake up* Oh, erm, what’s happened? Oh yeah, what a surprise – NOTHING!! They’re doing NOTHING!! NADA! ZIP! ZILCH! THE BIG GOOSE EGG! ABSOLUTELY BUGGER-ALL!!  I mean… did they just leave the microphones on, and they were rambling between takes?! Nothing is going on! Come on, Don Bluth, DO SOMETHING! PLEASE! *Stanley starts singing* ………..THE HORROR. Yeah, Stanley starts singing a pointless song about growing plants in his home… Once again, the instrumentals have potential, but the lyrics MURDER it… ‘Picture a perfect place, where there is no doom and gloom… Birds singing happy songs, and flowers bursting into bloom…’ And also, THIS line will cause problems later in the film – ‘That’s how the world can be if we just want it, why isn’t it that way, do you suppose? Maybe because no-one’s concentrating on it, Just give it love and kindness, and see how green it grows.‘ Yeah… the implications behind that line, coupled with what comes later on in the film in relation to it is one of the BIGGEST problems with this already problem-riddled film… Not to mention, the visuals are composed of… dancing flowers, Rosie kissing a flower, causing it to grow, and… ripping off Disney where woodland creatures come in…. :fear: Oh my god, I think I’m going to be sick through overexposure to saccharine cuteness…. I mean, another big problem is that everything in the film is whitewashed with cuteness… Pardon me while I grab a bucket… :puke: *as Rosie starts picks up a squirrel, I start puking into the bucket* ……Urgh…. Ugh…. Sorry about that… And don’t get me wrong, when cuteness is done well, I like it in characters like Pooka in Anastasia, Bambi, The Boxtrolls, Mrs Brisby and Fievel. But in A Troll in Central Park, a moment which could be TOLERABLY cute gets overcoated with saccharine and becomes unbearable… *grabs a bottle of cider, and swigs it*

Luckily, an interruption from the saccharine cuteness comes in from Gus coming in AT LAST, as Stanley… hides from the non-threatening voice. Ghgh…. Even FLUTTERSHY from Friendship is Magic would say - :iconshyfluttershyplz::iconsaysplz:’For the love of Princess Celestia… and people say I’M cowardly!’

Gus’ boat breaks…. I don’t care at all, and Gus says ‘Don’t you know you could have killed yourself? My boat got broken thanks to you!’ I hate it how he shows more emotion in his voice when he complains about his BROKEN BOAT than the welfare of his OWN SISTER….. :no: Meanwhile, one of Stanley’s flowers gets… hayfever :confused:, and Gus hears the sneeze, but not the talking voices of the flowers… Rosie walks up to Stanley, and picks him up, saying ‘Troll mine’. Erm… considering how she kissed him and got him overexcited earlier… I hate to think what this girl will become when she grows up…. In fact, I actually have a picture of her older self right HERE –
static.comicvine.com/uploads/o… Yeah, surprised? :hmm: The flowers start singing around Gus’ feet, and he says ‘this is weird.’ Erm… you could react with a bit more emotion. By the way, I find it odd how Phillip Glasser and Dom DeLuise’s characters in An American Tail (Fievel and Tiger) shared a LOT of good chemistry, but Gus and Stanley don’t get along at all… ^^; Gus tries to drag Rosie away, and of course, because it’s the one note he’s given, he acts all mean-spirited and bratty towards Stanley, and then - *Rosie starts crying in an extremely high pitch and volume, and I cover my ears in pain* :nuu: OWWWWW! Gagh… yes, let’s make a realistically ANNOYING toddler even MORE realistic and annoying by having her shriek at high volumes… I put up with enough of the crying from these pukestains when I have to sit on the bus, and even when I turn up my Sabaton, Voltaire and other heavy metal music at high volume, they STILL can be heard… I don’t need ROSIE to cry here… She says ‘bottle’ will help her stop crying, so the woodland creatures go to get the bottle… And yes, this is supposed to be the first CONFLICT of the film. A toddler crying… Ugh, what I would give for the trolls from Troll Hunter to come in and OBLITERATE these characters right now…

Meanwhile, back at the troll kingdom, Gnorga and Llort are sitting in their bedroom and for some reason, they don’t sleep in the same bed. Actually, I have to comment here – this background here is just… GREAT. The backgrounds in this film can be really spectacular, but once again, any animation and background prowess is just horribly wasted… She’s watching TV on her Dark Crystal lookalike, and hears the high pitched squealing of Rosie, which is making my eardrums bleed… :nuu: Out of ALL the crying babies in the world, why is it Rosie’s crying that gets Gnorga’s attention? No other reason but plot convenience… A rather pointless scene of Llort getting bitten by Gnorga’s dog later, Rosie gets her bottle, and Gus rather harshly says ‘There, now drink your stupid bottle!’ ….I hate this brat. :x And now comes yet ANOTHER Big Lipped Alligator Moment (in fact, the whole FILM is one) – the flowers… try to cheer Rosie up – starting by having two flowers put their heads together, and give a….. rather freaky grin. :fear: So now… the flowers begin dancing to try and get Rosie to smile, with Stanley clapping and smiling with his mouth open….. Gggggh….. I…. I… can’t comprehend this. THIS. Don Bluth made THIS. This is just embarrassing… This dance sequence is like if you took the Nutcracker sequence from Fantasia and watered it down a HUNDRED fold and made it less visually appealing…. DO SOMETHING. TELL THE STORY. DEVELOP THE CHARACTERS. JUST PLEASE DO SOMETHING. The music tells me I’m meant to feel something, but all I can feel is my IQ draining rapidly by the second… :nuu:

That two minutes of nothing follows up to the plot… or at least, the shattered remnants of the plot (if this film can be said to HAVE a plot - It's pretty much just, little boy and girl go to park, meet troll, he teaches them about imagination, bad troll comes in, chaos ensues. )…. Gnorga sees the dancing flowers, and realises Stanley is still alive. As Stanley… somehow fixes Gus’ boat with his green thumb - er… wait, I thought his green thumb could only grow FLOWERS… but now it can fix boats?! What, is his green thumb the equivalent of the Deus Ex Machina orb from Elf Bowling, or that Deus Ex Machina Christmas Star from The Nuttiest Nutcracker? Anyway, Gnorga sees that Gus is more like a troll than Stanley. She reaches into her trunk of tricks, and pulls out a raincoat and umbrella…. And now she rips off Alice in Wonderland and casts a curse on Gus, which makes him cry a river of tears, to drown Stanley, Rosie and Gus. Oh great, now I’ve got ANOTHER annoying child crying… :no:

And now the film gets BAD…. I mean REALLY bad. It’s already ‘children’s entertainment’ without the entertainment. The only thing that could make it worse is making it even LESS suitable for CHILDREN. When the tears continue to fall, Stanley uses his green thumb to make the boat bigger… Why did his green thumb make the boat bigger? :confused: And why does the curse suddenly wear off Gus? Stanley says that Gus believed in saving his sister so much that his power was stronger than Gnorga’s…. Okay, that explains why the curse has worn off, but why has the boat grown? Get a load of this… Stanley, out of nowhere, talks about how he dreams a lot about getting a patch of green, and says everything in this world starts with a dream… Well, okay, that’s PARTIALLY true. Dreams and ideals can be good virtues to get you to PURSUE your dreams… But no, that’s what this film goes for. Instead, Stanley says that the large boat is a…. ‘Dream Boat’…. Erm… okay, okay, okay… STOP. :policeman: So, you’re saying that Stanley made that boat larger by simply DREAMING about it, and NOTHING else? this film is basically throwing in a moral for no reason that if you dream, good things will happen. ...I understand that it's something for the kids, but when you think about it, that is NOT a good moral. You cannot just DREAM to get an A on a test, to have a steady relationship, or get a good job...you have to EARN it! I know that sounds a little over-the-top, but think about it! A child can't dream to have a puppy. Your child is going to be pretty disappointed if he dreams and he gets no puppy. This film is probably saying, ‘Oh, did your divorced parents not get back together? Well, maybe you just didn’t dream HARD enough’. :iconseethingplz:

Speaking of dreams, my DREAM that the characters will fall to their watery grave down a giant waterfall is suddenly dashed when Stanley uses the power of…. Sigh… DREAMING and nothing else, to make the boat fly… :facepalm: And now the power of dreaming creates Stanley’s… dreamworld…. As Stanley comes into yet another terrible song… This is the worst song yet, by the way…. This is just so boring, and cutesy bland that it’s just POINTLESS to exist. I refute your right to be a musical, A Troll In Central Park… :rage: Stanley’s world is also rather sickly sweet… and here’s something I realised that one of my friends brought up to me - In Stanley's dream world, everybody there looks, thinks, and acts like him. Considering the aspect of multiculturalism…. This becomes rather… disturbing when you think about the implications relating to that, like he doesn’t want there to be any other species there, or anyone to be different from him in anyway. Oh my god… is Stanley secret a closet DICTATOR who wishes to enslave the world to plantlife, and constantly create plant slaves to do his bidding? :ohnoes: After that two and a half minutes of nothing - seriously, is there ANY scene in this film which has ANY point?! – Stanley says he made the world SIMPLY BY DREAMING. Not by planning, pursuing his dream, or anything else… just dreaming on its own… Film, THINK THROUGH YOUR IMPLICATIONS. :no: Gus says he doesn’t have any dreams for some reason, and Stanley lets Gus drive the boat… This can only end so well… :no: Gus starts piloting the boat, and it turns into a speedboat…. Luckily, what looks like Freddy Kreuger’s pirate ship comes in to sabotage this ‘dream’… Wait, so, did Gus dream for a pirate ship to be there, or…. Wait, the pirate ship just exploded, so… did he dream that, or did the Dream Eaters get it? :confused: This scene has no point anyway….. And now the characters are back in Stanley’s garden of horrors, they get the plot back on track by…. Sleeping. :o Erm… no. You have not warranted taking a nap, characters. Nothing that you have done has demanded so much of your inner strength that you need to take a NAP to recover from it…. And Gus wants to get a green thumb from Stanley so that he can make flowers and destroy them… Okay, that was pretty creepy – he’s almost as destructive as Hiyoko Saionji :iconhiyokosaionjiplz: from DanganRonpa 2…. And just as bratty. 

Gnorga, finds out that Stanley survived, and decides to go to Central Park herself, dragging Llort with her. By the way, how does she know the name of the place if Llort never told her what it’s called earlier in the film? Also – WHAT IS UP WITH THIS TROLL AND HER GOALS? Why is she so hell bent on destroying Stanley? I appreciate someone wanting to destroy one of the worst protagonists in animation, but what is up with the hate? At first she wants Stanley gone and is happy to see him gone, yet when she finds out she is in another place that she shouldn't care less about she still wants to kill him for good for some reason. So, travelling in a giant tornado, she destroys Central Park, and… no-one is around in New York to report this magical tornado destroying the plantlife… Rosie and Gus wake up, and Gus realises they have to go home before their parents get back home. They leave Stanley, after Rosie kisses Stanley again, and Stanley hears a train whistle and his ears wriggle freakishly AGAIN – ew, he got excited from a toddler kissing him AGAIN… Rosie and Gus notice that Central Park has been obliterated, and… apparently, there are no people in New York who have noticed it… Gnorga, clearly exhausted from having destroyed Central Park, tells Llort – ‘You said it was big, yes – you told me it was wide… But you didn’t tell me it was bigger than Troll World, and Gremlin Land, and Goblin Ville put together!’ No he didn’t. He said there was a place of rock and steel, and you never asked him where that place was… :confused: Actually, can I please visit Gremlin Land or Goblin Ville instead, please? They’ll probably me much more interesting than what’s going on right now…. I mean, Gremlin Land, from what I can imagine, involved monstrous little Mogwai creatures wrecking havoc and destroying tower blocks…. And as for Goblin Ville? Well… what I’ll be reviewing NEXT time is probably a close call to Goblin Ville. And it’s much more entertaining than Troll World… :XD:

Llort… sniffs Gnorga’s shoe in a freaky way (so… he has a foot festish?) as Gnorga sees Gus and Rosie heading home. The woodland creatures head off to tell Stanley that Gnorga and Llort are there, and… guess how Stanley reacts to hearing this? Well, he doesn’t wake up at first… :facepalm: Meanwhile, in an annoyingly long chase scene, Gnorga and Llort pursue Gus and Rosie on….. tricycles. :facepalm: ….The main villain’s mode of transportation is a TRICYCLE. Erm… hey, here’s a question… you remember that GIANT KILLER TORNADO you made earlier? What’s stopping you from doing that AGAIN?! Also… why does Gnorga want to kill these two children? Stanley, I can kind of understand, but why does she want to kill Gus and Rosie? :confused: Now she uses her breath to blow apart buildings and suck them towards her (why didn’t she do that earlier?), and she manages to grab Rosie. Gus rushes to find Stanley, who has just woken up, and when the woodland friends try to tell Stanley what’s happened, he falls asleep again… Our hero, ladies and gentlemen. :facepalm: Luckily, a rabbit is just as annoyed with him as I am, and he kicks him awake. Stanley hears Gnorga (with another cool looking background, admittedly) say that she’s kidnapped Rosie, as Gus rushes to find Stanley, as Gnorga crumbles up Stanley’s home, and… Stanley cowers and hides YET AGAIN. For heaven’s sake, I’d rather have the trolls from FROZEN over you, Stanley! :rage: Gus finally does something worthwhile – calling out Stanley for being such a coward…. By the way, Stanley is incredibly obnoxious here, and he then says ‘She’ll turn me into stone, and I don’t want to be rockenized’. Rockenized… I ASK you… :facepalm: Scripwriters – USE ACTUAL WORDS in your script! This is what I mean by the film lacking vocabulary… Even Stanley's own FLOWERS are sick and tired of his cowardice and ditch him, as they follow Gus to save Rosie. Wow… when Stanley’s own CREATIONS have had it up with his cowardice, you KNOW that Stanley is one of the worst characters ever constructed.

Arriving at an… abandoned prison by the looks of it, and sees Rosie held hostage behind a… pitchfork, as – once again, NO people from New York have noticed the destroyed Central Park… By the way, Rosie squeaks annoyingly again as she pulls Gnorga’s nose…. But before Gnorga can turn the obnoxious Rosie into stone, Llort pulls her back, as Rosie is the bait for Stanley, before the dog attacks him again, and Llort… kicks off the pitchfork…. Our villains, ladies and gentlemen… :facepalm: Luckily, before Rosie can get away, Llort stops her shrieking by putting him into a dog cage that he… doesn’t even lock… :facepalm: Gus somehow sneaks in – by the way, why couldn’t Rosie open the dog cage – it wasn’t even LOCKED… Llort and Gnorga chase after Rosie and Gus, and they partake in some…. Uninspired slapstick, as they finally get to them outside, and….. for some reason, Gnorga turns Gus into a troll. Why does she do that? :confused: I don’t know, but FINALLY, Stanley heads out to save Gus and Rosie, by using Gus’ boat. Gus, meanwhile, somehow has a black thumb now, which gives him the power to turn things into stone, including Llort’s feet. Once again, why did Gnorga give him that power in the first place? :confused: Just then, Rosie, like a complete and utter IDIOT (again, I know she’s a toddler, but she seems pretty damn STUPID in this upcoming scene :facepalm: ), by running TOWARDS the cliff edge. I like it how she shows barely ANY emotion to facing impending doom – the way she actually hobbled towards the edge looks like she INTENTIONALLY ran towards the edge…. Okay, she’s now that girl that plays hopscotch over the cliff in the Korn album Follow the Leader. :lol: Rosie plummets down the cliff…. That scene was a perfect example of a scene that proves why the moral of the film is so terrible… If Gus wanted to save his sister that badly, in this film’s logic, Rosie should have been saved…. But because, I don’t know, REALITY kicked in, his hoping didn’t do anything…. Either that, or he didn’t dream to save his baby sister enough…. :hmm: Just then, Gus starts crying. But it turns out that Rosie was saved by Stanley, as he arrives on a flying boat, and FINALLY confronts Gnorga. About time you grew a pair, Stanley, it took long enough. And now, Gnorga gets a bit too close to the camera when she says ‘What do we have HERE?!’ :o Dagh! Back away from the camera, Gnorga – you’re invading my personal space! They declare thumb war, and Stanley eventually wins, by growing roses all over Gnorga. They manage to escape on the flying boat, but then Gnorga…. Randomly gets another power at her disposal which she COULD have used earlier – she uses her thumb to control Gus’ thumb, and guides Gus to touch Stanley…. Here’s another problem – the powers of the characters seem to come along as the plot demands it. While Stanley is initially shown to merely have a magic green thumb that makes flowers grow and come to life, later on when he meets Rosie and Gus, he is revealed to have "prestidigitation" abilities which allow such feats as making a toy boat grow to full size and fly, and create a dreamlike world from Stanley's own mind. This ability isn't even foreshadowed prior to those scenes….. Gnorga's magical powers are certainly implied to be quite flexible, but her ability to control Gus' own magic thumb from a distance against his will in the film’s climax comes off as a really blatant example of this. And Stanley turns into stone…. YES! Yes!!! :dance: Hooray! That obnoxious, cowardly dolt Stanley has been petrified, ladies and gentlemen! :w00t: Just then, the roses…. Turn Gnorga into a rosh bush…. Wow… so, Stanley turns people he doesn’t like into vegetation? :ohnoes: Wow… maybe he’s like the trolls from Troll 2… :ohnoes: The tornado… randomly comes back to suck up Gnorga, Llort and the dog, and transport them back to the Troll World.

Because Gnorga was turned into a rose bush, Gus returns back to normal…. But it…. Didn’t turn Stanley back to normal, somehow? Gus looks at his thumb, and as he gets in bed, he starts sucking it…. :ohnoes: Erm… an 8 year old thumb sucker…. Anyway, the next morning, Gus’ dad doesn't seem all that surprised when he sees his son sitting on the steps with a really detailed stone statue of a sad troll. Just as uninterested as Gus saying ‘this is weird’ in response to the talking flowers, and no-one caring about Central Park being destroyed. He tells him that he finally has a chance to play with him, and the SECOND terrible moral comes up. What is the second "moral"? Well, when we meet Gus, he's a child who wants quality time with his dad. But he's always busy, so he always complains that he never wants to do what he wants to do. After all the chaos he went through, what does he teach the children watching this movie?

Gus: ‘Dad... do you think today…. maybe we could do what I want to do?’

It may not sound so bad at first, but like the other moral, when you think about it, it's not good at all. Children need to learn that they can't always get what they want and that their parents have to work to pay for their food and their house. Again, that sounds over-the-top, but again, think about the implications of the moral… It seems to be saying ‘if you don’t get what you want in life, if you just demand it MORE, you’ll get it’. :no: So, they head to…. The destroyed Central Park, only NOW with everyone realising something’s happened. And even then, no-one seems to react very much. :hmm: They take Stanley to the middle of the park, Rosie cries annoyingly and kisses Stanley again (god, stop kissing him, it’s giving creepy images! :x ), and Gus…. Gets a magic green thumb. Erm… WHAT. WHAT?! WHAAAAAAT?! :jawdrop: He has a green thumb all of a sudden?! Why does he have a green thumb?! Don’t say ‘because he dreamt to have one’ or I’ll punch you…. :iconseethingplz: Yeah, so… because of plot convenience, Gus gets a magic green thumb. He touches Stanley with it, and… nothing happens. :iconyoufailplz: But as they look back, Stanley is revealed to have come out of the stone…. And starts growing Central Park back to life… And… he wriggles his ears in a creepy way again – for heaven’s sake, STOP WRIGGLING YOUR EARS! :nuu: So, Central Park comes back to life, as Stanley sings ‘That’s how the world can be if we just want it’, but then he…. does what Audrey II failed to do… take over an entire city by engulfing it in plantlife. No, I’m serious here, he… engulfs New York in plantlife…. Stanley IS an evil dictator! I knew it! I knew it all along! And he just wanted to take over New York by engulfing it with plantlife, bringing all the transport to an end, choking commerce by engulfing the New York Stock Exchange in plantlife, no doubt ensnaring millions of people, and trapping them in a giant hedge, the likes that no-one has ever seen… Yeah… it is possible to see Stanley as not so benevolent troll, considering he dreams of a land where all trolls are essentially copies of him and, in the end, he covers New York in vegetation. Whether he is simply delusional or actively malevolent is up to the viewer. I personally think he’s BOTH. It's meant to be heartwarming, but ends up looking like some sort of supervillain takeover, or a scene right out of the director’s cut of Little Shop of Horrors…. It's not even made clear if it's just supposed to be another dream sequence. I don’t know about you, but I would be rather terrified if I saw New York get engulfed in plantlife… :iconevilwutplz: The sappy song continues playing as New York gets enslaved to plantlife, and then the film cuts back to the Kingdom of Trolls. It turns out that Gnorga is now The Queen of Posies, and King Llort has become the new ruler of the kingdom. Once again, the way the paper talks about how the trolls are actually HAPPY that Gnorga has been deposed makes me feel like what could have given way to an interesting subplot was completely wasted. The dog bites Llort again, and the film finally ends… *puts down the bucket, and clears my throat, taking a big drink* Wow… am I happy that this saccharine mush of a film is FINALLY over with…. :phew:

Before I wrap this up, I think I need to compare a scene from The Secret of NIMH, my favourite one of Don Bluth’s works, and THIS. Here’s a scene from Secret of NIMH - www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Q6WCd… . And here’s a scene from A Troll in Central Park - www.tubechop.com/watch/4489396 . If I showed you those two scenes without any context, would you EVER be able to guess that they were both directed by the same person? The same person who brought us Mrs Brisby showing she had the inner courage to give The Stone power and saved her children from drowning in the mud of their sinking house brought us Stanley and Rosie doing nothing but watching a dancing flower, and Stanley getting excited when a toddler kisses him… Mrs Brisby’s goal is SAVING HER CHILDREN, while Stanley’s goal is MAKING FLOWERS. See the difference? Mrs Brisby may have been timid and easily frightened, but she came up against a lot of terrifying incidents and creatures in The Secret of NIMH. Stanley is frightened of a TODDLER, of all things and gets overly excited when said toddler kisses him… Don Bluth, what happened to you? :no:


:icondisneycow82::iconsaysplz: Oh Dom Deluise, you deserved better than this. Having just watched the Nostalgia Critic Review on this terrible piece of crap film, I must agree that it is more of a parody of a kids film than a real family film. And it is TERRIBLE! And Stanley insults characters like the hobbits, Bilbo, The Lucky Charms leprechaun, and Dopey the 7th dwarf. Stanley is an over happy pansy and so are his stupid flowers with faces. And banishing Stanley to Central Park was a pathetic stupid idea. I mean there are flowers everywhere you stupid villains! Did they even think this banishment plan through at all? I don't think so. I just want to slap that Gus brat all the way! Talking flowers and drowning in a river of tears is an Alice in Wonderland rip-off. Nothing Stanley says makes any sense about good powers being stronger than Gnorga's (where did that stupid boat come from). The good part is Stanley turning into stone. Good luck on this one Duckyworth, you're gonna need it.

:iconvindurza::iconsaysplz: beautiful animation meh story

:iconxxamemetic-enginebxx::iconsaysplz: Have fun! This movie is good.

:iconwaywardplatypus::iconsaysplz: For a little tibit: In Stanley's dream world, everybody there looks, thinks, and acts like him. Considering the aspect of multicultralism (sorry if I spelt it wrong)... no prizes for guessing what this is implying here. Helps to explain why he pretty much covers New York in plant life at the end. Yes, he's a murderer too, if you think about it.

:iconcoldheartedkitsune::iconsaysplz: Don, what the hell happened to you? You were once consisted one of the greatest animators next to Disney. Now, you make this piece of pandering bullcrap. All I'm going to say, Ducky, is that you have big balls reviewing this trash. Hell, I couldn't the last ten minutes of this 'film' because it was so dumb and disappointing. Go in with low expectations.

:iconshinywhitewaters::iconsaysplz: Ugh... WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT? Don Bluth man, how did you get from The Land Before Time to THIS? What can I say The story- There is no story! Just a whole bunch of grotesquely cutesy vomit of filler with terrible songs and stupid morals. The characters- They're all unlikeable. Stanley is an obnoxious coward, Gus is a spoiled selfish brat, Rosie is just annoying, and the villains are dumb. The only character I hate the LEAST is Queen Gnorga just because she wants to kill some of the most annoying characters in animation, but other than that, her goals are just stupid. The animation- On a brighter note, typical in a Don Bluth movie, the film has some nicely-animated scenery especially with the flowers. The character designs? Not so much.

:iconhoneybeegirl94::iconsaysplz: I tried watching TiCP, but failed. I was disturbed to see Rosie kiss the troll. O.o

:iconmovieman410::iconsaysplz: I was a ten year old boy easy to please and I still hated it

:iconoceanpictures61::iconsaysplz: Is universal knowledge that this is the worst movie that Don Bluth has worked on: An embarrassing story, one-note characters and songs that could be played on the middle circles of Hell for torture. Critically panned and a Box Office ATOMIC DISASTER!
I have my respects for Mr.Bluth for being a great animator, but this...this sugary crap is a plate I don't want to devour as long as I believe in animation.

:iconl-h-reviews::iconsaysplz: I would rather stare at my wall for an hour... Because at least I don't have to deal with the annoying audio!

:iconzalaraxium::iconsaysplz: I liked it, when I was a child, but it is a mixed bag, now that I think about it, it is funny and interesting at certain parts, but bland at others, but it is okay for a Don Bluth film, no offense intended to him or the film.

 

Don Bluth, I love you, but you should know better than this. This whole film seems to be 50% ‘Tastes Like Diabetes’ and 50% horror. I mean, the animation and musical score can be nice, but this film goes from stupid and sappy to being DISGUSTINGLY insulting to a child’s intelligence, and also being disgusting in how sappy and sickly sweet it is.The characters are all incredibly annoying – the only character that is LESS annoying is Gnorga. Her goals make absolutely no sense whatsoever, and she is forgettably bland, but she wants to KILL STANLEY – so I root for her for most of the film, believe it or not. The morals in the film feel like they were just thrown in at the last minute, and are actually rather dangerous to a child who follows with them fervour. And plus… even as someone who is more tolerant of cute scenes than most people, the cute stuff in this film is UNBEARABLE…. This is what will happen again and again if people keep thinking that if they’re writing for children, they can just throw up any rubbish they want, without any respect for children’s intelligence… But the worst part is that it came from DON BLUTH…. The same person who made The Secret of NIMH, Land Before Time, An American Tail, All Dogs Go To Heaven, Anastasia, Bartok the Magnificent and Titan AE. :cries: It seems awfully similar to Pippi Longstocking to me… Tons of padding, annoying characters, tagged on morals, nonsensical scenes, a complete LACK of plot and tons of padding, and the villain being someone I want to see KILL the main character… I guess it goes to show that even a great director like DON BLUTH can churn out a major stinker in their directing career… I just didn’t expect the stinker to be THIS horrible, insulting to a child’s intelligence, or sickly sweet…. :puke:

 

So, I mentioned the idea of Goblin Ville reminds me of a much better film earlier in the review…. So, even though I said Thumbelina would be my next review earlier, I’ve decided to review something different – to give Don Bluth a break from the scorn, and to allow myself to review a good film to have a break from bad films. :phew: I recently watched Jim Henson’s Labyrinth when I went to visit my sister in the Christmas holidays, so I felt like reviewing it. So, next time, join me and we’ll take a dive into the Labyrinth… :iconwoooplz:

 

UPCOMING REVIEWS

164. Labyrinth

165. Thumbelina

166. Freddy Got Fingered

167. The Wolf Children

168. Equestria Girls – Rainbow Rocks

???. The Pebble and The Penguin

???. Rock-A-Doodle

???. The True Story of Puss ‘n Boots



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Duckyworth
Callum
Artist | Hobbyist | Digital Art
United Kingdom
:iconreadcplz1::iconreadcplz2::iconreadcplz3: :iconreadplz:
:iconnorequests: :iconcollabsfriendsonly::icongiftsfriendsonly: Friendship stamp by JinZhan I won't whine  . . . by Zyden Wishful Thinking by whispwillAutism... not a dunce cap. by StrawberryR:thumb180723921:Weirdness Stamp by JadeCatKunoichiAutism Stamp by callykarishokka

Current Residence: UK
Favourite genre of music: Metal, In-game music, film soundtracks
Favourite style of art: Traditional Art
Operating System: Windows 7
MP3 player of choice: iPod
Personal Quote: 'Oh, please, make it stop! It's the squeaking of the hideous boots!!' - Mr Krabs

Duckyworth's Personality Type Results
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Comments


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:iconnuclearzeon2:
Nuclearzeon2 Featured By Owner 19 hours ago
Also, how come YOU still have a webcam? Is a premium member thing now?
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:iconnuclearzeon2:
Nuclearzeon2 Featured By Owner 20 hours ago
Do you think sometime you could make a list of films you'll never review, since MrEnter and The Nostalgia Critic both did?
Reply
:iconshinywhitewaters:
ShinyWhiteWaters Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm just wondering... what do you think about this redesign for the demon!Sunset Shimmer? shinywhitewaters.deviantart.co…
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:icontommypezmaster:
Tommypezmaster Featured By Owner Edited 1 day ago
Would you like me to make title card for certain things you havn't reviewed yet? I made good ones for Mr. Enter.
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:iconduckyworth:
Duckyworth Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Aww, that's very kind of you. :aww: You mean for the ones on my upcoming reviews list? :)
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:icontommypezmaster:
Tommypezmaster Featured By Owner 1 day ago
Got a link?
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:iconduckyworth:
Duckyworth Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Hobbyist Digital Artist
On my most recent Duckyworth's Thoughts review on my page, it's at the bottom. :)
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(1 Reply)
:iconfitzsanchez:
fitzsanchez Featured By Owner 6 days ago  New member Hobbyist General Artist
just to let you know, You've been tagged!:D (Big Grin) 
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:iconripperthescraftyplz:
RippertheScraftyplz Featured By Owner 6 days ago  Hobbyist
My stupid tablet is making me so mad, trying to paste a link to my WIP doll to ask what you think of it so far but the link erases itself right away and then it won't let me paste it again. So I hope you don't mind going there manually, it's my newest submission. Wanna know what you think of the mega Diancie I'm making out of pipecleaner. Still got lots of work to do though. ^^;
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:iconchocolatebacon11:
chocolatebacon11 Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2015  Student Artist
Whenever I read your reviews I always imagine you with an American Accent
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:iconduckyworth:
Duckyworth Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
A bit strange, considering how I'm British. :iconbritishplz:
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:iconailemadragonprincess:
Have you seen Cartoon Saloon's newest film, "Song of the Sea"? If you haven't I'd say go see it. I saw it, and it's a great movie.
Reply
:icondisneycow82:
Disneycow82 Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2015  Hobbyist Filmographer
Bad news from the Oscars, The Lego Movie got snubbed from the "Best Animated Feature" category. What a big fat joke these rich know it alls are!
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:iconastonlevy:
AstonLevy Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2015  New member  Filmographer
Fuck them so hard, they were probably too lazy to see the movie so they just didn't nominate it to cover their asses.
Reply
:icondisneycow82:
Disneycow82 Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2015  Hobbyist Filmographer
The only thing that made it is the song "Everything is Awesome" but why not allow the Lego Movie into the Best Animated Feature category? That's a load of crap, even for those stuck up snobs. I bet none of them ever played with Legos in their youth and know nothing about the heart of all films, rather than just political crap.
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:iconastonlevy:
AstonLevy Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2015  New member  Filmographer
Crying shame.
Reply
:iconmrnate2015:
MrNate2015 Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
Hey, Duckyworth! I just got an idea of a movie you can review!
Reply
:iconduckyworth:
Duckyworth Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
What is it? :D
Reply
:iconmrnate2015:
MrNate2015 Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
Actually it's Five movies I picked for you:

Jaws (1975)

Birds (1963)

Meet The Feebels (2003)

Brother Bear 2 (2006)

SpongeBob The Movie 2: Sponge Out Of Water (2015)
Reply
:icondrawtoonzstudio:
DrawtoonzStudio Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2015
Hey there, Duckyworth. Do you think you could review the 2009 CG animated movie The True Story of Puss n' Boots? Not only is it a bad movie, but it's also positively bizarre. Everything from the art style to the unique soundtrack that often rearranges classical pieces of music. Oh yeah, and William Shatner lends his voice to the American version of the dub, and he gives a performance that needs to be heard to be believed. I don't know if Hulu's available in the UK, but it has the version with Shatner voicing Puss.
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:iconduckyworth:
Duckyworth Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I saw Bobsheaux's review of it.... and I think the film is ripe for ripping apart if I ever get around to it... ^^;
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:icondrawtoonzstudio:
DrawtoonzStudio Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2015
I'd love to see you do that someday. :D
Reply
:iconbriar-spark:
briar-spark Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Hi, Duckyworth! Thank you very much for the fav!
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:iconmarioking9834:
Marioking9834 Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Oh my! You're watching me! :iconspongebobscreamplz: Boy, you are possibly the most famous person to be watching me! I feel a lot of pressure on me...

But no matter! I promise to do my best to entertain you! Hope I can! :salute:
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:icongamewafflez:
Gamewafflez Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2015  Student
Do you still take requests?
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