Duckyworth's Thoughts: The Nut Job ~ 2014 (Part 2)

My Rating:

Part 1 -

Duckyworth's Thoughts: The Nut Job ~ 2014 (Part 1)Director: Peter Lepeniotis
Rating: PG
My Rating:
 Part 2 -

*Callum is on the phone right now*
Me: Yes, I will admit that you did kind of help me get through The Nuttiest Nutcracker last January, but I… don’t think you should be suggesting which film I review next… That film managed to make me lose a good part of my appetite for nuts, and I… don’t want this film to put me off pistachios or peanut butter!
:iconmonobearthreatenplz::iconsaysplz: Do it, stupid! You wouldn’t hug me in that photo you made when you first bought me, and then you forced me to sit through a film about ugly nuts and you bored me with a stupid speech about hope, so you owe me! You say you like nuts less and less – well, keep up your whining and I’ll be happy be destroy yours!
Me: Oh yeah, because THAT joke isn’t overdone or anything….
:iconmonobearhappy::ico

Welcome back to my Duckyworth’s Thoughts review on the unbelievably mean-spirited piece of rotten peanut brittle… The Nut Job…. Where I will be doing a good JOB trying not to lose my sanity while watching it…

So, let’s see how Davey Stone’s squirrel counterpart is doing. As he overlooks the heist, he sees Mole begin his plan to sabotage the plan to steal food.  Okay, Racoon, a question for you - if you want to supposedly keep control by keeping more food than anyone else, why don’t you just allow them to carry out the heist and THEN steal the nuts from them? Wouldn’t that be easier, give you even MORE power, avoid suspicion and make more sense?! But whatever, apparently he knows better than me, and is ready to move on to the most logical next step - by getting Mole to plant a hose pipe into the hold the gophers are digging to flat out DROWN them. Oh wow, now your sudden descent into villainy is so rushed, you’re descending into MURDER, Racoon? That’s both unnecessarily cruel AND stupid… As annoying as they are, they’re three of your strongest animals – and if you want to go forward with your stupid ‘take over the park thing’ and rule over everyone, and they’re stupid and blindly obedient enough to blindly follow your orders, I think you should keep them alive – that and flooding the tunnel they’re digging has the risk of destroying the food they’re taking to steal, which is another part of that logic flaw in your plan I mentioned earlier.

Speaking of logic flaws, guess who just HAPPENS to show up OUT OF NOWHERE over TWENTY MINUTES after he disappeared – yep, GRAYSON. He just appears out of the ether because the plot demands it – WHAT ARE THE ODDS? And it seems that not only is he just as useless, annoyingly self-centred and egocentric than usual, but he’s even MORE annoying as he was before. Do you know something we don’t, Grayson? *listens to Grayson babble annoyingly* Yeah, clearly you don’t… You know what, I’ve seen it – Grayson is the squirrel version of that annoying douche Scorch Supernova from Escape from Planet Earth – think about it – that character was equally as egotistical and self centred, and just as useless and pointless to the story. Why is this character type so common?! I mean, making a character that’s egotistical isn’t necessarily a BAD thing, especially if they get some good humour out of it (Gaston’s song from Beauty and the Beast comes to mind), but Grayson and Scorch don’t get ANY funny moments at all. Speaking of lacking funny moments – STUPID GOPHERS BELCHING. It looks like Surly may actually be trying to do something helpful here by trying to turn off the hose pipe, but from what I see later, this is like in Eight Crazy Nights, where it looks like Davey is beginning to change his ways in the scene he helps out Mr Whitey and Eleanor around their house, but that so called ‘redemption’ is very quickly ruined by that horrible scene where he says Mr Whitey doesn’t deserve to live…. Surly fights with the Angry Bird wannabe for a while, while the mines start flooding – by the way, one thing I do like about Fingers and Lucky here is that, unlike Kayley in Quest For Camelot, when Lucky asks Fingers to be quiet because he hears water flowing, Fingers actually DOES stop talking and not just constantly blab on allowing his friend to get injured, like Kayley did when Garrett constantly asked her to stop talking but the annoying bimbo kept on yapping her trap allowing Garrett to get hit by an arrow…. Meanwhile, Precious goes outside to bite the Angry Bird… By the way, here’s another thing, I know this is an animated film, and animated films CAN bend logic at times – but the way the Angry Bird survives scrape after scrape in an unbelievable way just baffles me – for example, when Precious catches the Angry Bird in her mouth, the bird CONTINUES flying about with enough force to knock Precious out and fly out of her mouth, and THEN gets hit by a bus. *shudders* …Spongebob You’re Fired flashbacks…. Surly gets back into the cellar, and lifts the gophers onto the conveyor belt, getting them back outside – by the way, here’s a big animation error – wasn’t it daytime just a moment ago? Surly was only in the cellar for a split second, and as soon as he got back outside with the gophers, it’s now night time…. Yet another stupid blindness gag with the Mole trying to escape and banging into the gate, and then that annoying twit Grayson jumps down from the roof onto Surly and sadly doesn’t break any bones. By the way, I like the way how Grayson has been absent and does ABSOLUTELY NOTHING OF SUBSTANCE, and yet all of the animals treat him like a godsend for no reason. Are they envious of his stupidity or something?

Precious and Surly catch up with Mole, and after a… rather uncomfortable joke involving Precious licking Mole’s butt , they interrogate him with the street light into finding out that Racoon is the one who’s trying to stop the heist (after minimal coaxing – at first Mole is all like ‘Silence! I kill you!’ and then he cracks in a second – WEAKEST WILLED. MINION. EVER. )– and once again, I don’t understand how if the heist succeeds, Racoon somehow loses control of the park. If Racoon has authorised the heist, and the heist succeeds, doesn’t that mean that will make him more credible as a leader, as he’s authorised the most successful plan the park has seen for years? And as Surly says he’ll get double earnings from the heist (so basically, he believes he’ll rob the park animals of ALL the earnings if he tells them Racoon tried to sabotage the heist. Surly, even when you’re trying to tell the truth, you’re trying to use it for your own selfish ends – WOW, you’re an a**hole! )

Back on the roof, the gophers unite with all the other park animals – by the way, where did they all go in the previous scene? Seriously – why did nobody notice Mole earlier? Buddy I can understand because Surly told him to stay put, but BLANDY? Wow, you didn’t even try to keep a watchful eye over the gophers and nearly let them drown – you’re SUCH a wonderful individual, BLANDY. And of course, GRAYSON TAKES ALL THE GLORY, even though he did basically nothing. Yeah, look at his expression when they praise him for something he didn’t do – THAT’S not a park hero! That’s a selfish douche who’s trying to steal the credit for SOMEONE ELSE saving them! After more annoying gopher moments (and Grayson saying ‘Stop talking about butts, talk about me’, making him really seem like an ass), Grayson and Blandy have a… supposedly touching moment – which Surly sees and is… for some reason feels sad about. I don’t know why. Neither Grayson nor Surly have shared ANY moments or even any chemistry with Blandy so far – and the film expects us to feel something here? All I feel is confusion. Which will quickly turn into frustration, annoyance and anger in the next scene – because the next minute is one of the most INFURIATING moments in the whole film. Surly tells them that Mole is the one who tried to drown the gophers under Racoon’s orders, but UNDERSTANDABLY, they don’t believe him. Of course, Grayson didn’t see anything – HOLY MOTHER OF HELL, ARE YOU USELESS. But then… they start blaming SURLY for it – erm, okay – even though Surly IS a complete and utter douche and doesn’t deserve as many chances as this film is giving him, doesn’t it seem a bit mean-spirited that they’re immediately jumping to him? I mean, the flaming nut cart bit enraged me because it was so CLEARLY Surly who was responsible for it and yet Blandy, FOR SOME REASON, decides to act like Surly didn’t do anything, and here, they immediately jump to him being the one who did it without any evidence. Once again, it just feels like the animals are trying to come up with stupid reasons to get all the food for themselves, even though they originally promised Surly a cut of the spoils – it’s horrid characters trying to betray each other. Oh, and speaking of which – when Blandy asks Buddy if he saw anything – Surly makes me feel like STRANGLING SOMETHING.

Surly: ‘You’re asking HIM? He can’t help you, you’re wasting your time! He’s useless – CAN’T SPEAK! Only knows how to take orders! Kind of like you, Andy…’

…..Wow – just WOW. You were trying to redeem Surly, film?! Well, that little outburst there just RUINED whatever you were going for. It’s INCREDIBLY clear to me that making this THING the main character was a mistake in every sense of the word. Surly is just downright UNSALVAGEABLE. He treats his only friend like dirt and only thinks of himself. The film does NOT do a good job at showing any real growth in him – when the change DOES happen, it feels unnatural. It almost feels like the change at the end of the film was a last minute decision and it was tagged on haphazardly. But enough of that, let’s talk about THIS scene right now. When I first saw this, I felt like scratching my eyes out – it infuriated me THAT much. This is JUST like the scenes in Eight Crazy Nights and that Friendship is Magic episode Putting Your Hoof Down where a character harshly, cruelly and unbelievably berates others with words that could very well leave lingering effects. I mean, okay, Surly can’t believe that Blandy would be so blind to follow Racoon’s orders, and he… SOMEHOW knows Racoon is up to no good (by the way, I need a reason for that, film – how does he know, or is this is make the main character SOMEHOW correct? ) – but JESUS CHRIST, Surly! You didn’t have to psychologically berate your only friend like that! And – hang on – WHO is the useless one here? Little Buddy here has been working his paws to the bone for you, while you’ve been taking everything he helps you gain with no consideration for his welfare. Once again – TELL me that it doesn’t seem like Buddy is written like an abuse victim would be. That little outburst of yours pushed you from being an ABYSMAL character to an IRREDEEMABLE character. I feel nothing but hatred and contempt for you. And you SOMEHOW think that this THING deserves to be the main HERO of the film, filmmakers? Racoon had better start taking lessons about being evil from YOU, Surly – my god! Surly – you go shove those nuts you stole up your butt and go CHOKE on them. Double entendre intended.

(EDITOR’S NOTE – I know that this may have been one of the STRONGEST insults I’ve ever written in my reviews towards a character – but this scene, and this character, enraged me THAT much.)

And as one of the more satisfying moments of the film, Buddy has finally had enough of Surly’s sociopathy and PULLS AWAY from him. YES – fight that selfish monsters, Buddy! Buddy is DEFINITELY the most morally sound character in the whole film, and if I were Racoon, I would say that the only possible THREAT in this cast is Buddy – the other characters present are the bland love interest that blends into the background, the annoying ass who takes credit for everything but can never do anything of value, and the squirrel version of Davey Stone. Of course, Blandy, for SOME REASON, still lets Surly walk (even though I’m siding with the gophers in this case – even though instantly blaming him for the hose is questionable, Surly DESERVES to be beaten up for that psychological beating he gave to Buddy) – and what does GRAYSON do?! CHEERILY SAY GOODBYE TO SURLY. GRAYSON – YOU STUPID, BRAINLESS, USELESS, WASTE OF ANIMATION!! Now the film tries to force me to feel sorry for Surly – even though he acted basically like a whiny spoilt brat earlier and started berating those closest to him, so I will NOT feel sympathy for this disgusting character. He walks into the nut cellar and starts loading up more nut sacks, and now Precious starts being a tad annoying – so, what’s new? Okay, I’ll be a bit fairer here – I know that a lot of people like Precious, and to be perfectly honest, she’s one of the more tolerable cast members – probably the most tolerable character behind of Buddy, and I will admit, even though I do find her a tad annoying some of the time, I did get a small smile out of some scenes with her. It’s not much, but HEY, a little bit of amusement from a character is VERY rare in this film. Speaking of trying to make us feel sorry for this despicably unlikeable character, gangsters catch him and put him in a cage. Oh no. I feel SO bad for Surly. I sure hope he gets out okay. That was sarcasm, by the way. But, okay – as much as I hate Surly and hope he goes and DIES for what he’s done in this film, the next line from the mob boss gets me pretty SCARED – ‘Get me a blowtorch’. OH DAMN. He’s planning to TORTURE Surly with a slow painful death? Not just something cartoony like playing polka or something, but ACTUAL implications of TORTURE to an animal. Out of sheer coincidence and completely convenient to the plot of course, Lana just HAPPENS to walk in, and I just realised – even though I see more potential for a good film if they developed the relationship between the mob boss and Lana, as it stands, just like most of the character development in this film, they just GLANCE over it. This may sound weird, but I think The Nut Job not only has way too many characters, but it has way too much STORY – there’s a LOT of things going on in this film for the film to focus on. It’s a similar problem with Rio 2 – I prefer Rio 2 anyday, but that film also had a LOT going on and some subplots were left undeveloped, and even worse, UNFINISHED in places. The romance between Lana and the mob boss is one of them. They also use it to force in the line ‘you can’t change who you are.’ Wow, that was an unsubtle delivery of the moral. Lana is about to take Precious with her, when Precious, FOR SOME REASON, wants Lana to free Surly. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!! YOU CAN’T BE SERIOUS – once again, completely out of nowhere.

As Surly gets out with a bag of nuts, he gets cornered by those fugly rats from earlier – oh hey, been a while since YOU showed up too. And, wouldn’t you know it, RACOON hired them. Okay, here’s a question, did Racoon hire them earlier in the film, or did he just get them under his control OFF SCREEN? Racoon SOMEHOW figures out that Surly is… trying to impress Blandy? Really? Look at Surly’s face – even HE’S surprised at that concept. Surly and Blandy have shared absolutely NO chemistry or even touching scenes in this film so far – all they’ve done is yell, argue and blackmail each other. And even MOLE figures out how crazy this whole scenario is, as Racoon starts threatening to silence Surly AND Mole to cover his tracks – okay, Surly, I can appreciate wanting to silence HIM, but MOLE?! ONE, that’s stupid, TWO, that’s horrible, and THREE, don’t you think that if you kill Mole and Surly is revealed to be dead beforehand, they’ll think it’s suspicious that one of Racoon’s ONLY henchmen is dead? If Surly is dead, there’d be only one suspect. I also want to point out the fact that Racoon has only FIVE minions at most, going up against a whole park – who if they start growing brain cells, may actually see through your paper-thin plan. This also just seems like a rushed way to hammer in the fact that Racoon is the designated villain. Once again, there’s no proper build up, and it comes across as jarring.

The bank robbery goes ahead as planned, and NOW we get back to the original short’s premise. As the Angry Bird somehow survives a DOOR landing on him, Surly leaps in, as the park animals carry out their thievery of the nuts. As the mob boss is trying to figure out how a bunch of small animals can move a cart with many kilos of nuts atop of it, the ugly rats chase Surly, and - *sees the rats get practically KILLED by rat traps* Dude, HARSH! Just because you don’t show blood doesn’t mean it’s not gruesome! Now I see where the PG rating comes from…. Surly gets the dog whistle from Fingers, and Grayson says he… needs a disguise. Erm, why? And one uninspired comedy routine later (including a line ‘Get your head out of your tail’ – no comment), Surly talks about stuff that Grayson has supposedly done – but I don’t believe can because of how completely annoying and useless Grayson is – and this rushed somehow gets Grayson to run like a coward up the… side of the building? Erm – I may be wrong on this, but can squirrels run up a CONCRETE BUILDING? Blandy comes across Mole and Racoon and… oh this is stupid – Blandy STILL can’t figure out something is fishy with Racoon, who even says Mole is working for Surly now…. Is this film just a contest now to see which character can become the biggest douchebag?! Anyway, repeated annoying joke with Grayson later, Racoon gets Blandy, the smaller gopher and Buddy into the van where Fingers and Lucky are, and shuts them in. Mole gets onto the van, and then Grayson and Surly, on two pigeons, follow the vans, with Grayson’s REALLY annoying ‘oly-oly-oly’ thing. Surly comes face to face with the Angry Bird again, as Fingers and Lucky find out that their van isn’t loaded with money, but with NUTS – so YES, the mob boss and Knuckles are betraying them because – PRACTICALLY EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER IN THIS FILM IS DESPICABLE. Seriously, as I said, it’s filled with douchebags trying to betray each other!! And there wasn’t any build up to this at all, so this twist not only makes no sense, but it’s very mean spirited. As Surly gets pecked by the Angry  Bird on the windscreen wipers, Surly manages to propel the bird into… the Annual Fancy Cat Show. Oh come on, if the bird can survive being HIT BY A CAR, I’m sure it can survive that – but still, I must say this again – dude, HARSH! The animals locked in the nut van say they need Grayson, who is screaming like an idiot – SERIOUSLY?! HE’S the park hero?! – the vans pass by a donut shop where a group of policeman genetic clone heads appear awkwardly and stare at the cars zooming past, and Grayson gets knocked onto the road on the van door and – you guessed it, SCREAMS LIKE AN IDIOT. Ohohow! God, he’s even more annoying than Zephyr from Hunchback of Notre Dame 2! And now he starts trying to… kiss Surly. Okay, Grayson has the hots for Surly, moving on.

Surly and Grayson get into the nut van, and Racoon tries to toss Surly out. Oh, and here’s one thing in this scene that REALLY gets me – even with Racoon yelling ‘Let go, you idiot!’ to Grayson and Grayson praising Surly, and even with MOLE saying Racoon is a traitor, Blandy and the little gopher are SUCH airheads, they STILL can’t figure out why Racoon locked them in the van. Well, figure it out, dumbasses. *cue Jeopardy theme- * They FINALLY figure out that Racoon is this film’s designated villain, and they suddenly start voting for Racoon to be banished from the park for his crimes of attempted murder, idiocy, complete stupidity and failure to be a well written and believable villain. By the way, the rest of the park isn’t present, so technically, this wouldn’t slide with the park’s supposed ‘laws’. Anyway, Surly gets tossed out the van, but he notices the police approaching the vans. They approach the dam, where there is actually a roadblock that has SOMEHOW and UNBELIEVABLY QUICKLY been set up, even though the police only JUST noticed them. By the way, more nerd rage here – part of the robber’s getaway plan is to cross state lines, but police CAN cross state lines in pursuit if someone is suspected of a felony. Apparently, Knuckles can hear animal speak, as he cocks his pistol to shoot Blandy calling out Racoon for being a thief…. And Surly apparently isn’t? Okay, YES, Racoon is a moron and a rushed villain, but Surly STILL committed more crimes than Racoon has – once again, it’s almost like they’re forcing us to like Surly and hate Racoon. At the dam, the mob boss and Knuckles call Fingers and Lucky out, and as a bag falls on Blandy (oh gee, I guess she’s really dead. The film isn’t trying to catch me out or any – oh, just wait for it. ), Surly goes to wake her up, and Knuckles drives the van full of DYNAMITE into the police barricade. Now, the next scene just confuses me – a policeman manages to land a pretty well aimed shot at the van’s tyre, causing it to head over the edge of the dam away from the police. And then, for SOME reason, a policeman walks up to him while holding a donut, and they just…. Hold on the shot. I… I don’t get it. Was that supposed to be a joke? If the policeman had given the guy who made the expert shot the donut, that would be completing the joke, but that wasn’t a joke – it was a plot fart. Surly and Blandy manage to escape the van, and as they attempt a generic romantic moment with Blandy having to be saved by Surly, the dam bridge starts breaking, and Surly and Blandy fall into the river below, as the mob boss and Knuckles also try to get away but fall into some… rather mediocre-animated water. I don’t know why, but that water effect REALLY doesn’t look right… And now the nut sacks are flowing down the river – PFFFF Hahahaha! Sorry, I know that sounded really dirty. But yeah, all of the nuts they tried so hard to steal are now soaking wet, and breaking up in the force of the waterfall – because it’s always a waterfall - where a handy tree trunk keeps Surly from floating down the waterfall. Wow, the park is screwed. Oh, and because we haven’t had enough of these douchebag characters betraying each other and the film thinks it isn’t mean spirited enough, now Knuckles tries to betray the mob boss by stealing some of the stolen money from him and dislodging the tree trunk to DROWN the mob boss – once again, AN ABSOLUTELY CRUEL TWIST WITH NO BUILD UP AT ALL!! And at the same time, Racoon asks Surly why he’s doing this. LOOK INTO THE MIRROR AND ASK THAT QUESTION, YOU IDIOT. Racoon gets knocked out by a money bag that has tossed onto him by – Buddy?! Wow, Buddy surely IS one of the only nice guys in the whole film – being selfless enough to STILL save the ass who betrayed and belittled him at every turn. Surly gets the dog whistle, which he uses to stop Knuckles, who falls into the waterfall. Wow, Knuckles was pretty pointless, wasn’t he?! Seriously – all he did of substance was TRY TO BETRAY THE MOB BOSS – something that could have been written out entirely and had no build up. Racoon tries to grab onto Surly, so the animals try to jump onto the trunk to save him, somehow… knocking the mob boss off the trunk – wow, that mob boss is easily knocked over for a guy with such a heavy build, isn’t he?

Oh, and now comes the supposed moment where Surly redeems himself – as Racoon says ‘Surly goes down with me’, Surly lets go of the dog whistle that Buddy and Blandy were holding onto, and goes over the falls. Need I mention yet again that this had no real build up? But I will say it is heartbreaking seeing Buddy’s expression here. Poor guy – the only character I truly sympathise with. Back at the park, the animals start rejoicing over the hordes of waterlogged and possibly now rotten nuts that have washed up by the watermill. ‘Yay, this food won’t hold up for winter and is rotten now – WHEE!’ And don’t you know it – GRAYSON is the one they all start praising. I LOATHE YOU, GRAYSON, YOU USELESS FURBALL. Luckily, he goes over the waterwheel, and he dies – oh no, sadly he doesn’t die, he just rapes the laws of physics again and somehow gets propelled into the ruined tree trunk. Oh, yeah, about that – THE TREE IS STILL BLOWN UP, FILM. They don’t have anywhere substantial to store it – they never established that they store food in the old mill, and apart from one tiny storage room  space they stored junk in, there’s NOWHERE ELSE to store these nuts – so they’re treating a scenario that doesn’t change their situation like a happy ending because the film says so. The mob boss shows up, and no doubt psychologically scarred by the hordes of woodland animals, he flees the park… right into the hands of the police. The mob boss (named Percy King Dimpleweed – is that REALLY his name? ) gets dumped by Lana, and gets taken away, while Precious runs into the park – oh, and Blandy misses Surly because… the film says so. Seriously, did Surly and Blandy EVER share a touching moment? I don’t really feel sorry for Blandy, because she has so LITTLE personality; I find little reason to care. But what I do care about is Buddy sitting sadly atop the tree – who I DO feel sorry for. Precious takes Buddy to the riverbank – where, OF COURSE, Surly has been washed up. And – OH JESUS, Buddy starts CRYING?! Oh, poor Buddy – the poor guy has been put through hell this whole film, and now he starts crying? I just want to give the poor guy a hug and tell him everything’s going to be okay. True, I’d want a bath afterwards, but you get my point – he’s the ONLY character I cared deeply about, and one of the few who wasn’t an idiot, a mean-spirited jerk, pointless or all three. Of course, Surly ISN’T DEAD. Yeah… my heart was REALLY in my mouth for a moment there film, good one. I feel more happy for BUDDY than I do for Surly – even the moment where Buddy goes to hug Surly but recoils. Precious heads back to Lana, and Blandy comes across Surly. And of course, SOMEHOW, Blandy is happy that Surly’s alive, because the film says so. But…. somehow, even though the film just FORCED in Surly’s redemption – like with Davey Stone in Eight Crazy Nights with his redemption being horrible forced, rushed and uninspired – he doesn’t want to take credit for saving the park, leaving GRAYSON to ramble on about how useless he is, and he leaves to continue finding food for the park, which they STILL have no place left to store it in… Yeah, they don’t even show a REPLACEMENT tree that they’ll now store the food in – and once again, they never established the mill having a storage place other than that tiny place under the floorboards…. So there’s no place left to store it…. Happy…. Ending?

Oh, but no – we have one more piece of stupidity to go out on – the end credits having a terribly rendered CGI version of Psy singing Gangnam Style, with ALL THE CAST joining in a cringeworthy manner (complete with Racoon doing…. Pelvic thrusts   ). Now, I do really like Gangnam Style, but come on, this is one of the WORST things that could be associated with that song – I feel Psy deserves much better, and he should be left alone to work on other songs. Oh, and because everyone in film is a douche, there’s a moment of that girl scout from earlier KICKING Psy, Psy BLOWING UP Buddy and Surly, and after the song segment is over, we even see that Racoon and that Angry Bird ripoff are somehow still alive and are left in… shark infested waters? Once again, I have to say one phrase that not only sums up Racoon’s implied fate, and film as a whole – DUDE, HARSH!!

Buddy was the only likeable character in the film. 'Nuff said.

You know how the animation looks like it was meant for Direct-to-DVD? Well, here in Australia, it was. Makes you think.

This movie is-in my opinion-the worst animated film of 2014! Yes, I actually consider this movie to be worse than Legends of Oz: Dorothy's Return. With Dorothy's Return, there were at least a few entertaining scenes, and even an unintentionally funny moment here and there... With this movie though... It's boring and cliched at best and downright insufferable at worst! It definitely ranks up there among the most unfunny animated comedy films of all time! ...and yet for some reason, Netflix decided to use this movie as the thumbnail for their 3DS e-shop app... I really wish I was joking there...

Why or why does Hollywood insist on releasing BAD movies with BAD morals and horrible, unlikeable chracters like this? Eight Crazy Nights was bad enough, but this is just ridiculous. If you think this is bad, look at those hideous CGI Chipmunk films! Chipmunks are gremlins!

I think I remember watching this, I thought it was pretty stupid. But luckily, I managed to get away from it in the middle of the film.

I haven't seen it, but I have heard different people say it. One person says that it has looney tunes type qualities such as the characters' qualities and the humor. The other says it was mean spirited and predictable. I don't know which opinion I'd go for.

The Nut job seems like a similar concept to DreamWorks' Shrek or Over the hedge, except Nut Job has too many flaws in my opinion.

I don't even NEED to watch this movie to know how bad it is. The trailers alone were just so unbelievably stupid. All the clichéd characters, the fact that Liam Neeson was in this film, the nut puns, Gangnam Style, ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?? HOW OUTDATED IS FREAKING GANGNAM STYLE ALREADY!  Ugh, if you actually want something good, then watch "Surly Squirrel", the short that this movie was based on. Trust me, I guarantee that the nine minutes of that short are far more pleasurable than the 90 minutes of this movie.

It is the only film I know with a horrible main character...until the end.

I've only heard bad things about this film. Have fun!

To say the least, I was not looking forward to THIS last year! Nor am I looking forward to this supposed sequel coming next year. Based on the animation and trailers, it looked like what people used to think Adventure Time was back in its early days.

Well, uh... uh...... uh...... at least it's not Legends of Oz: Dorothy's Return?

Folks… what else can I say about this one? Well, you can probably guess that I don’t like it ONE BIT. This was NOT a good film to start off 2014 with. Blablabla TARGET AUDIENCE – children deserve much better than this – and this one of the films that made me begin to despair for modern day family films that weren’t Disney, Pixar or Dreamworks…. Every so often, you get an animation studio as awesome as Laika Films, but 9 times out of 10, you get films like The Nut Job.

Well, first of all – SURLY DESERVES TO GO DIE. Seriously, he is one of the absolute most HORRIBLE main characters I have ever seen. He is as abrasive as his name suggests, is AGGRESSIVELY selfish and spends most of his time insulting and beating up the other characters for his own selfish ends. Not only are we NEVER given a reason why Surly was a jerk to behind with, we’re offered very little reason as to why he transforms into a hero – once again, it feels very tired, by the numbers and just so UNINSPIRED and rushed that it feels like the film ran out of time/budget to make it seem convincing. But DAMN, at least Surly has a set character. BLANDY has so LITTLE character I couldn’t even call her that, she was just… THERE. Grayson was a useless jerk who took the credit for everything but in reality contributed nothing and could have been written out entirely, the whole mob heist was underdeveloped and was filled with token Italian gangster stereotypes, and most of the other animals were just ANNOYING. The ONLY character I found myself caring for was Buddy – he did ALL the work for his selfish subordinate and tried his damnedest to bend over backwards just to get his approval, but was insulted, beaten up, left in the dust, and no doubt STARVED (judging by his skinny appearance) at every single turn. This film is just full of jerks being jerks to each other, insulting and betraying each other at every turn – just making it feel HORRIBLY mean-spirited and unpleasant. And there was literally NO build up to Surly redeeming himself, every single scene leading to the improbable plot twist with Surly either insulting the other characters, thinking only about himself, or gorging himself like an ass.  Speaking of which, we’re never given a reason to care about the animals of the park or their plight, nor are the motivations of the designated villain properly explained – as I said before, it feels like they forced Racoon to be the villain just to try and make Surly the hero, and made Racoon’s goals completely unbelievable as a result….

The original intended story struggles to fill the runtime; so of course, it has to make way for GOPHER GAS and stupid characters to fill in the blanks – along with tons of superfluous subplots that make the film surprisingly overcomplicated. The stupid overdone plot, knock-offs of much better films that came out before, recycled story elements, joyless DVD-quality animation, and the superfluous use of Gangnam Style - NOTHING about this rotten cashew can stand the test of time when it was horribly dated BEFORE it was released in cinemas!

As I said, this film reminds me a lot of Eight Crazy Nights for numerous reasons – a completely REPUGNANT main character, most of the other side characters being bland, annoying, jerks or all three, tons of stupid fart jokes and gas jokes, the only character that deserves any sympathy being subjected to endless torture and psychologically scarring insults, bland and uninspired animation that doesn’t do anything new, and the main character’s obligatory redemption being unbelievably rushed and uninspired. If I can say ANYTHING to this film’s credit, the cruel moments aren’t AS cruel as Eight Crazy Nights, the gross moments aren’t AS gross, there aren’t any voice actors that grind my eardrums to dust, and at least it doesn’t have as many insulting jokes – but then again, this film does insult the blind with Mole constantly bashing into things… But they didn’t need to bother with any insults towards the blind – the very presence of the main character was INSULTING enough – seriously, even if all the other characters were more interesting, Surly alone is more than sufficient to taint this film. What an UGLY character and an UGLY movie.

But for some reason, this film, just like The Reef, even though it was so absolutely HORRENDOUS, there must have been SOMEONE who found this film good enough to force their children to watch, because apparently it made enough money to make a SEQUEL. Either that or putting Gangnam Style was what brought in the big bucks… So, that means I’m not done with nut related animated films –

And THAT means that you aren’t done with breaking nuts, spaz! Upupupupupu!

Urgh…. But for now, I think I’ve had enough of nut related films. Next time, I’ll be reviewing a much BETTER animated film before I get into my horror reviews - Equestria Girls: Rainbow Rocks – a VAST improvement from the first Equestria Girls film.

But before I review that – I think I’ve got a different kind of NUT to break. *grabs a few nutcrackers from the Festive Shop* And I think I actually need some help here – so, Monokuma, have you got what I asked you to find, Monokuma?

Nnnf… I shouldn’t be doing this, but if it will help spread despair to that stupid purple and grey squirrel and that idiotic racoon, I suppose I could get something out of it.

Hehee… well, then, I guess I’ll see you all next time, after I really crack some nuts…

UPCOMING REVIEWS

181. Equestria Girls – Rainbow Rocks

182. Rosemary's Baby

Horrendously Horrific Hallowe'en of Horrendous Horror: Terror Comes Fourth

???. Dominator: The Movie

???. The True Story of Puss ‘n Boots

???. Bolt

???. Rock-A-Doodle

???. The Pebble and The Penguin

???. Daisy – A Hen Into The Wild

???. The Secret of NIMH 2: Timmy to the Rescue

???. The Wolf Children

???. Where The Dead Go to Die

???. The Illusionist

???. Ernest and Celestine

???. Song of the Sea

Duckyworth’s Edits: The Secret of Kells’ Abbot Cellach

Duckyworth’s Edits: All Dogs Go To Heaven Getting ‘Craps’ Past the Radar

Duckyworth’s Edits: The Townsfolk Of ParaNorman